FCUKING up my RIBS Rappelling the VIDEO

Here it is, me getting hurt rappelling.
*Canyoning is a SAFE activity. I'm the exception. The RISK is minimal to everyone else, even for 1st timers.

I don't mind getting older, really I don't, but I am sick and tired of getting hurt while performing 'mundane-like' tasks. Back in the day, I got hurt because what I was doing came with built in risk factors- riding motorcycles, playing football or just out and out fighting and roughhousing on a day-to-day basis. So to me, breaking a rib or having a black eye just came with being me. But now, OMG! I can tear a ligament reaching across the table for the friggin' butter. My Fight Club days are O-V-E-R. Now, I'd be more apt to carry a whistle...

Ahhh, the memories-

At some point in the 1990's (I'll be damned if I can remember when) I had major surgery on my cheek and eye-socket area because I got in a fight at a club in Las Vegas. Now let me tell you, it's a good yarn even though I received the fat end of a Budweiser beer bottle and $25,000 dollars worth of surgery, but at least it's entertaining for the listener... much better than this:

"Hey Mike, what's with the cast on your arm?"

"Oh this, well, it was last Sunday at dinner when I was reaching for the butter...."

See the difference? And it's been going on like that for the last 8 years or so...every injury 'butter' related. How fuckin' LAME is that?

And that's how I feel about this one. So what, a little 'jar', a minor 'jerk' from stopping a little too fast... and now I can't even yawn without regretting it. I'd rather have fallen or collided with a boulder or something, anything a little more dramatic than a slight, 'jerk' on a rope. **My outside looks pretty good right? Who knew as of late my innards were being held together by twisty ties and Silly Putty?

And get this, on that tour, their were like 10 people who had approximately 10-15 years on me... AND it was their first time rappelling (on a personal note, this group was GREAT, so COOL to see older folks out trying new things and livin' life). Then there's me, who has experience, who is supposedly 'in shape', bruising my ribs- oh the humility. Obviously, I don't wish ill will on anyone but besides my rib issue, I bet you can't guess what the next worst thing was- that's right, out of 17 folks, 10 being older than myself, the next worst thing, which only happened to one person, was slight chafing on their left thigh from wet, harness rub.

My birthday is tomorrow and I've requested a cake without candles, you know, because it will pain me to much to BLOW... maybe I could get one of the old ladies from the canyoning tour to blow them out for me. geeeeeeez.

Happy Birthday to me.

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